1. Make Your Website As Cluttered As Possible!
Nothing makes visitors leave quicker than a cluttered website that is hard to navigate around.
2. Never Update Your Website!
If someone were to visit your website today and then come back 6 months from now they should see the same information. Nothing should be updated. This will let them know that you care nothing about the website and that you have nothing new to offer them. The next time they see a listing for your website they won't even bother to visit. Great!
3. Never, Ever Advertise!
Advertising cost money and it might draw some good targeted traffic to your website. So be sure to never advertise. You can just keep promoting your website through those same tired free programs that you have been using for years. This should bring you little or no traffic, and the traffic that does come won't be your target audience so they're almost certain to leave without spending a dime. Awesome!
4. Always Sell A Crappy Product!
Selling good products online can get you a good reputation. A good reputation can get you repeat sales and new customers. You don't want all this hassle. So find the worst products you can and sell them exclusively. This should damage your reputation to the point where no one wants to bother buying from your site. Be sure to lie about your product too. This will further ruin any kind of credibility you may have.
5. Never Respond To Any Questions!
If someone emails you with a question about your website or products on your website, Do Not Reply. Replying could be considered courteous and businesslike. You don't want to come off that way. It's better to just delete any emails from people who were interested enough in your website to take the time to email. Hopefully this will drive them to one of your competitors websites and out of your hair.
There you have it folks. Five great ways to ruin any website. So don't blame me if you don't follow these tips and you become an online success story. I've done all I can to try and help out. And now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to write down the web address that's airbrushed on the bonnet of this Ford Kuga beside me...
Affordable web design and hosting Lincolnshire